Fullmetal in Wonderland
by kawaii-kuroi-neko
Summary: Well... the title really says it all. Going off of the Disney version, because I don't like to read, ....How will the Fullmetal Alchemist handle himself in Wonderland.
1. The Tea Party

As Edward continued his way through the forest, he began to realize that he had no clue as to where he was. He turned to Alphonse for reassurance, but Al looked just as clueless as he did.

"When I find that creepy rabbit, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind," Ed mumbled, kicking a rock down the path. The rock let out a squeal, stood up, and ran off into the woods. Al looked down at Ed who seemed ready to jump into his arms.

"You're the one who believed him when he said he had some cake he didn't want. You're the one who followed him," Al pointed out.

"Well, I'm gonna have some rabbit stew when I find him."

There was a low, growling sound nearby. Al looked around nervously, trying to find the source of the growl.

"Ed, what was that?" Al asked.

"My stomach, I'm starving!" Ed sighed. Al looked at him annoyed.

"Those on guys weren't very helpful either. They just stood around telling stories about oysters and walruses," Al sighed, continuing the conversation.

"You mean those twins? Yeah, neither was that giant caterpillar. He was too busy puffing on his –"

"Ed, look!" Al shouted, pointing to a little house hidden in the trees. There was a long table stretched out in front of it. The table was set up with plates, cups, and teapots; just like a tea party. Ed and Al walked up to the small wooden gate and glanced in.

A small, older man with a large top hat sat next to a tan rabbit. Both were sipping teacups and singing a little song.

"Hey! It's that rabbit!" Ed yelled, starting to climb over the gate. Al grabbed him by the coat and held him back.

"No, Ed, that's not him. The one we're looking for is white, that one's tan," he said.

"Close enough," Ed said.

"Let's ask them if they know how to get out of this place," Al suggested.

Al opened the gate and he and Edward walked in. They glanced around and picked two chairs to sit down at. Once that sat down, both the old man and the rabbit stopped singing and looked at them. Ed and Al stared back.

"There's no room! No room!" the strange pair yelled, jumping out of their seats and running toward the brothers, shooing them off.

"There's plenty of chairs," Al said. He looked over at Ed, who seemed to be disturbed by the two's sudden ranting.

"There's no room for you! You weren't invited!" the rabbit said.

"Yes, just sitting down at someone else's party uninvited, is very rude," the old man said.

"It's very rude, indeed," came a small voice from the middle of the table. A small mouse poked his head out of a teapot sleepily.

"It's rude to be that ugly," Ed said under his breathe.

"We're very sorry," Al apologized. "We were just lost and –"

"What were you guys celebrating anyway?" Ed interrupted. The strange pair looked at each other and shook there heads.

"This one is extremely rude," the rabbit said.

"And extremely small," the old man said. Ed's face grew a dark shade of red.

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT, OR SMALL, OR SHRIMP, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!" Ed fumed. Al sighed.

"I'm very sorry," he apologized, again. "I'm Alphonse, and this is my brother Edward. May we ask your names?"

"I'm the Mad Hatter," the old man said.

"I'm the March Hare," the rabbit said.

"May I ask what you were celebrating before we _rudely_ interrupted?" Ed asked, being sarcastically polite.

"It's our Unbirthday, and we are celebrating," the March hare said.

"Happy birthday!" Al exclaimed. The Mad Hatter glared at him.

"It's not my birthday. I'm insulted,"

"What?"

"It's our _un_birthday," the March Hare corrected.

"What's an unbirthday?" Al asked. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare looked at each other.

"Umm… well… it's…" they both stuttered. Ed and Al looked at each other. Suddenly, both of the strange characters broke into song. Ed and Al sat dumbstruck, not knowing what to think. After a minute or two of song, Ed and Al had been educated on what an unbirthday was. And Ed was ready to leave.

"Leaving already?" the March Hare asked.

"Yeah, kind of. I'm starting to feel like I'm in a Disney movie," Ed replied.

"That's an insult, too!" the Mad Hatter complained. "I prefer the Warner Brothers. Disney just paid better."

"Sorry, we'll just be on our way."

"We were just about to cut the cake," the Mad Hatter said. Ed stopped in his steps right there.

"Oh no," Al groaned.

"Well, I guess we can stay a little longer," Ed said, seating himself once again.

"Well then, let's have some tea!" the March Hare yelled. "Grab a teapot and help yourself."

"Okay," Al said, grabbing a teapot for Ed. Ed took it and tried to pour it, but realized that it had no spout.

"What the --?" Ed said, shaking it violently. The Mad Hatter reached over and cracked it like an egg, pouring the tea into his cup. Ed stared, dumbfounded. He glanced around the table a found on that looked normal. He reached for it, when suddenly, its spout opened wide, like a mouth, and bite his hand.

"OW! What the heck kind of tea party is this!" he yelled.

"Move down!" the Mad Hatter yelled, pushing Ed and Al along the table into new seats.

"They really are mad!" Ed whispered to Al. An overly large teapot came flying across the table and smacked Ed in the head. He fell onto the ground and moaned.

"Brother!" Al yelled.

"It's rude to whisper at a party!" the March Hare exclaimed.

"Sorry … it won't … happen again…" Ed gasped as he found his way back into the chair. He sat up, dazed.

"So are you enjoying the tea?" the March Hare asked.

"I haven't had any yet," Ed said.

"Oh you must! It's simply delicious!" the Mad Hatter said, pouring himself some more.

Ed glanced around. He looked over to the house and noticed that someone was sweeping out the chimney. The person looked down at him.

"Al, does that guy look like Bill Murray to you?"

"Yeah, it kinda does."

"Oh, I see you've noticed Bill. He's been stuck in Wonderland ever since he was in that one movie with the Looney Toons and Michael Jordan," the Mad Hatter replied.

"Poor guys been depressed ever since he found out Bugs Bunny wasn't real," the March Hare added.

"So, tell us about yourselves. We are very interested," the Mad Hatter said.

"Well, we're Alchemists and we're –" Ed started.

"Do tell," the Mad Hatter said, dipping his saucer into his tea and eating it. Ed couldn't help but stare.

"And, well, we live in Resembool –" Al continued.

"Very interesting," the March Hare said, handing Ed a teacup overflowing with sugar. Ed picked up a plate and looked at it carefully. He dipped it into his tea and bit into it.

"AH! My teeth!" he yelled. "This place defies everything that has to do with science! These things that are happening can't be possible! I refuse to believe it anymore!"

The March Hare looked to the Mad Hatter. "This one's a crazy one."

"I know! Talking of science, and alchemy. Everyone knows that stuff is children's stories," the Mad Hatter replied.

Ed was about to say something when a small meow, came from inside Al. Ed looked at him suspiciously.

"Al, is that a cat?" he asked.

"CAT?" yelled the small mouse from the teapot. He jumped out of the teapot and ran across the table.

"Get him!" the Mad Hatter yelled. Both of them jumped onto the table and shuffled after the mouse, tossing teapots and cups everywhere. Ed dodged as many as he could as they came flying at him, but a few teapots hit him. He looked up, as a butter dish came flying at him, hitting him in the face. He wiped off the butter, and glanced up to see eggs flying at him. They hit him, along with a chicken.

"What the hell!" Ed yelled, wiping off his face again. "What is the big –" A cow fell on top of Ed. Al looked across the table and saw the Mad Hatter holding down the mouse as the March Hare put butter onto its nose. It seemed to calm down.

"You need to watch what you say at someone else's house!" the Mad Hatter said.

"That's it!" Ed yelled tossing the cow off of him. "We're leaving!"

"Well, if that's so," the March Hare started. "May we ask you something?"

"Fine! Hurry it up!"

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" the Mad Hatter asked.

"What?"

"It's a riddle, silly little boy," the March Hare said.

"I know that!" Ed yelled. "And I'm not little!"

"So, 'Why is a raven like a writing desk?'" Al repeated.

"What did you say?" the March Hare said, spewing tea all over Ed.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Al said. Both the Mad Hatter and the March Hare looked at him like he was crazy.

"They're completely mad!" the March Hare exclaimed.

"We're completely mad!" Ed yelled. "It was your riddle!"

"Stay back!" the Mad Hatter said nervously. Ed slammed his fist down onto the table.

"C'mon, Al, let's get out of here," he said. They both walked through the front gate and back onto the path. They heard the tea party continue as though they had never been there.

"This place keeps getting stranger and stranger," Al commented.

"Well, that March Hare reminded me of the Colonel," Ed replied. Al sighed, and followed his brother down the ever-darkening path.


	2. The Rabbit's Cottage

Ed and Al continued their journey through the strange world, looking for any sign of anything familiar. Nothing caught their eye. They came across a clearing in the trees. In the clearing sat a small cottage, painted white with pink shutters.

"Maybe we should see if anybody is there," Al suggested.

"Yeah, what have we got to lose?" Ed replied. They walked through the front gate, and up to the house. Alphonse knocked on the door. They waited for a reply, but none came.

"Hey, is anyone here!" Ed called, pounding on the door. Al sighed.

"Do you always have to make a scene?" he said. Ed threw him a glare. Suddenly, the door flew open and knocked Edward back into a bush. The small white rabbit race out and onto the path, all the while shouting, "I'm late! I'm late!"

"You're late for a meeting with your maker!" Edward yelled, popping out of the bushes and brushing twigs out of his hair. "C'mon, Al! Let's get him!" He started running after the rabbit, but once he got to the gate, he realized he didn't know which way the rabbit went.

"He's so small, I couldn't tell which way he went, once he got to the gate," Al explained. Ed sighed. He walked back up to the house and peered inside.

"How about we just go inside and rest," Ed said. "I'm tired."

"Ed! We can't just go inside!" Al exclaimed. "It's not our house!"

"That rabbit got us into this mess in the first place. So it shouldn't hurt to take a nap in his house."

Al sighed and followed his brother inside. The house was decorated with fashionable antique items and furniture. Some looked normal, but others looked just a unusual as anything else in this strange land. The house was well kept: dust-free and organized. Al turned to his brother who was rummaging through the cabinets.

"Ed! What are you doing?" he yelled.

"I can't take a nap on an empty stomach," Ed replied, shifting to another door. He opened it and pulled out a box of cereal. "Silly rabbit, Trix™ are for kids." He tossed the box aside, and settled for Golden Grahams™.

Al shook his head in shame, as Ed went through the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk. After Ed had finished his Golden Grahams™, he headed upstairs for the bed.

"This is a nice bed," Ed said, sitting down on it. After he made himself comfortable, a growling sound rose into the air.

"Geez, Ed, you just ate," Al said.

"That wasn't me!" Edward argued, looking around. The growl came again. It seemed to be coming from the bed. Ed slowly got up, and just as he stood up, the bed closed like a venus flytrap.

"Guess it didn't like you," Al laughed. Ed grunted and looked for another source of relaxation. He caught site of a candy dish on the dresser.

"Yay! Candy!" Ed squealed with joy. He pulled off the lid and took out a little cookie. It said 'Eat Me' on the frosting. "Well, I can't go against that!" Ed ate the whole thing in one bite. "Eh! It tastes so bitter!"

"Good, I hope something bad happens for your incompetence," Al said. He turned to his brother, but he wasn't there. "Ed? Ed! That's not funny! Quit being childish!"

"What happened? What happened to me?" yelled a tiny, angry voice.

Al looked around for the source.

"Al! Down here!"

Al looked down onto the floor, where a miniature Ed stood, looking up at him. "Ed, why are you so small?" Al exclaimed.

"Who are you calling so small that he's like a bug you could step on!" Ed yelled in his tiny voice.

"I didn't say that, but it is kind of true," Al pointed out.

"Hand me another one!" Ed yelled.

"But what if it makes you smaller!" Al asked.

"What are the chances?"

"I think this place is going to your head, brother," Al said, breaking off a piece of a cookie and handing it to him. Ed ate it quickly.

Before Al's eyes, Ed grew to twenty times his original size. He filled most of the space in the house, pressing Al against the window. Al opened the window and called up to Ed, whose head was sticking out of the top of the cottage. "Ed! This is what you get for messing with other people's stuff!"

"I love this! I'm taller than everyone!" Ed called back down. He looked down to the gate and saw a large bird in a suit, talking to Bill Murray, the chimney sweep.

"My goodness! Look at that monster!" the bird said to his friend.

"Who are you calling a monster!" Ed yelled.

"You know what we have to do right?" the bird continued.

"Burn him out," Bill said.

"How did you know?"

"I've seen this movie a hundred times."

"Well, anyway. Climb up the ladder and into the chimney. Distract him while I light the fire."

"God, why do I get pulled into the crappy jobs," Bill said, grabbing his ladder and climbing onto the roof. He started climbing down the chimney.

Ed looked at him. "What are you doing?"

"Distracting you," Bill replied.

"Oh, okay."

Al climbed up onto the roof and handed Ed another cookie. "I think this one will return you to your normal height."

"But I like the way I am," Ed protested.

"Then you'll burn, Ed," Al said.

"So be it. I'll die tall!"

"Ed! Eat the cookie!" Al said, trying to force the cookie into Ed's mouth.

"Aren't you supposed to distract him?" Al asked Bill, who was watching the struggle.

"Oh yeah," Bill said. "Ed, look, a distraction!"

"Where?" Ed said, looking around. Al shoved the cookie into his mouth. Ed suddenly shrank to his normal size. Al climbed down to meet him. Ed sat sobbing in a corner.

"Let's go, Ed," Al said. Ed stood up and walked toward him. "No! You're not taking those!" Al said, smacking Ed's hand away from the cookie dish.

Ed and Al stood at the gate looking at the house that was being to be engulfed by flames.

"That was the bird's fault," Ed said.

"It's your fault that he's doing it!" Al sighed. He followed Ed as they continued there journey through this mysterious land.


	3. The Cheshire Cat

As Edward and Alphonse Elric continued with there journey through the 'mysterious land of the unknown things that creep people out', as Edward had nicknamed it, they came across a split path. Ed looked down both ways to see any sign of familiarity, but the only signs that he saw were ones that said YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THIS WAY. Ed sighed, ignoring the signs and leaning on Al.

"I give up. I don't know how to get out of this place," he sobbed. Al patted him on the shoulder.

"Maybe we should just try and make our way back the way we came," Al suggested.

"Don't you think I've thought of that?!" Ed said, annoyed.

"If you had, you would have done it already," Al retorted. Ed mouthed something out of the vision of Al. He _had_ thought to go back, but he was too afraid to face what weirdness he had first seen when he had entered this strange land. He had hoped he wouldn't see anymore disturbing things, but his hopes had been destroyed every step further he had taken.

"Are you lost?" came a voice from somewhere in the trees. Ed and Al looked around but saw nothing but the crescent moon. Ed looked behind him for a source to the voice, but saw nothing.

"Hey, Ed," Al said, sounding a little worried.

"Did you find who said that?" Ed asked, turning to him. But all Al did was point to the crescent moon. "Yeah, so? We've seen a moon before –" As Ed continued to look at the moon, he noticed that it was swaying back and forth. It began to grow wider, as if grinning at the brothers' astonishment. Slowly, a purple cat began to fade in on the tree branch, the crescent moon turning out to be his smiling mouth. The cat looked down at the two with curiosity. Al's armor shook, while Ed only looked up, wide-eyed.

"Are you lost, dear lads?" the cat reiterated.

"Uh…err…phh," Ed stuttered, fainting onto Al.

"I didn't mean to scare you," the cat laughed. "Well, only a little."

Al, regaining his thought, said, "We've lost our way. We don't know how to get home. Could you help us?" Al gasped as he noticed what the cat was doing.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you," the cat said as he stood on his head, literally. He had taken his head off of his shoulders and was balancing on it with his paws. "The only way here is the Queen's way. And she doesn't really like sharing it. She just loves enforcing it."

Al looked at the cat in bewilderment. Ed, regaining consciousness, looked up at the cat. "That's a crazy cat," he muttered to Al as he stood up.

"Why, thank you," the cat said, taking Ed's comment as a compliment. "Everyone here is pretty much the same. We're all crazy, mad, psychotic, etc… It's just a matter of getting used to. You two will be crazy soon."

"I think I already am," Ed replied. He rubbed his head as the cat jumped down in front of them. The brothers took a step back, not sure if this creature was safe to be around.

"Well, that marvelous! Would you like a glass of milk? And you, a can opener?" the cat asked, holding up a glass of milk to Ed and a can opener to Al.

"That's so insensitive!" Al sobbed

"Hey! Get that stuff away from me! Are you trying to kill me?" Ed yelled. Al sighed at his overreaction and his inattentiveness to his brother. The cat merely chuckled.

A voice from the sky called down to them. "Edward Elric."

"Is there really a God!?" Ed and Al asked, quivering in fear.

"No, no," the cat laughed. "That's the Writer of this story. She makes all of this happen."

"Curse you, Writer! How could you do this to me?!" Ed yelled.

"It was a challenge from another writer," the voice replied. "Nothing against you guys."

"Oh, well that makes everything better," Ed said, sarcastically.

"Ed, please don't argue with the Writer. She might do something horrible to us!" Al pleaded. Ed realized that this was true. They both flung themselves to the ground.

"Oh, Mighty Writer, we beseech you," they both chanted. The cat merely giggled at the sight.

The Writer laughed maliciously at the praise. "That's not what I want, though it's quite nice. I was just going to inform you of something, Edward."

"Oh, well," Ed started, standing up quickly in embarrassment. "What would the mighty Writer like to tell one of her puppets?" He quickly noticed his mockery, and said, "I mean – and what's that you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, I was informed, that in my last chapter, there was an incident…where you ate your cereal – with milk."

"Brother?" Al asked, worriedly as Ed ran over to a bush and began throwing up.

"Well, just thought I would let you know. Trah la lah la lah," the voice sang. And all was quiet again.

"This is all your fault!" Ed yelled, raising his fist to the sky. "Damn it!"

"Well, that was quite exciting," the cat chimed, smiling widely. "I enjoy having conversations with the Writer, she is very unusual."

"And very sick! Who would do this to anybody? Maybe she's in league with the Colonel," Ed yelled, infuriated. A large mass of kittens fell from the sky and onto him.

"Ohh," Al said as he ran over to the fluffy pile and began up kittens as putting them into his suit of armor. Ed's head popped out with a kitten on top.

"Ha ha, very funny," Ed mumbled, as he dusted a few more kittens off of him. "Al, put those down!" Al stopped, holding a kitten halfway in his armor.

"But, Ed!" Al sobbed. "They're so helpless." He held a kitten up to Ed.

"No, Al."

"Brother! You're so heartless!"

"Yeah, you're so heartless," said a voice down by Ed's feet. He looked down and saw a kitten version of the mysterious cat they had just met. Ed looked back up at the tree and saw that it wasn't there. He shrieked and jumped onto Al. Meowing of cats could be heard, echoing inside of the armor.

"Just tell us how we can go back home, you creepy cat!" Ed shouted. The purple creature jumped back onto his branch, full-size.

"Well, I would go and ask the queen, but she has a nasty temper," the cat replied.

"I think we can handle her," Ed said. The cat shrugged and jumped to the ground.

"Follow me," he said walking. Ed and Al were following, when the cat began to fade out again. They saw the little imprints of his paws in the dirt.

"Now wait a sec—" Ed started before Al nudged him roughly, indicating for him to just follow the tracks.

They came to a tree in the middle of the road and Ed kept his eyes on the paw prints. One side went around one side of the tree, while the other set went around the other. As if the cat had split in half.

"What kind of cat are you!" Ed exclaimed, stumbling into Al. Meowing could be heard from inside Al, but Ed took no notice. He was too busy studying the cat that could talk.

"I am the Cheshire Cat," came the cat's voice, which seemed to be behind them. Ed looked around stupidly, not knowing where to think the cat really was. He noticed that there were no more paw prints to follow.

"Hey! Where did you go?!" Ed called out. He looked around furiously.

"Where else would I be?" said the cat, from atop another branch. "Here is your passageway to the Queen of Hearts. Please mind yourselves and your manners. And be aware, that you probably won't come out of there alive." He began to laugh maliciously. Ed and Al looked at each other, not knowing what to think. The Cheshire Cat gently pressed his paws against a knob on the tree.

Ed and Al looked at each other as the bark on the tree split open, revealing another path. They began walking toward it.

"This will begin the final chapter in your story," the cat said in a deep voice. "Whether you live or die is still unknown. Edward and Alphonse Elric are you ready –" But the two had already walked through the hidden door. The cat looks around angrily, then out to you. "What would you like to see happen in the next and final chapter of 'Fullmetal in Wonderland'? Click on your choice, the votes will be tallied on a separate page. You can see the votes total once you vote."

-- See Edward fight the Queen of Hearts with Alchemy 

-- See Alphonse go against the Queen of Hearts in croquet 

-- See the Writer and Edward go head to head in a final battle to get home

-- See Alphonse faced Jaden in a Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel (vote this if you have no life)

-- See Edward and Alphonse transported to Hogwarts

-- See Edward play chess with the Trix rabbit

-- PLEASE VOTE NOW --

"Thank you for voting," the Cheshire Cat meows, clawing the side of the tree. "By now you have realized that you were foolish enough to fall for this little trick me and the Writer set up for you. Oh yes. Either you were foolish and tried to vote, or you were intelligent enough to continue on, probably reading more until you realized what you avoided. Give a round of applause for those who didn't try to vote. And now a round of applause for those who did vote, they were such good sports." The Cheshire Cat begins to chant a little song. It jumps to the ground and walks to his home tree, leaving Edward and Alphonse to Fate/the Writer.


	4. The Unusual End

_Author's Notes: Just to let you know, I do not own anything that appears in this chapter (characters, food, clothing…) I hope you enjoy this. I think I made it interesting, but you really need to read the 3rd chapter, if you already haven't, before you read this. None of this really happened._

_Chapter Four: The Unusual Ending to an Unusual Story in an Unusual Land With Unusual Characters With Unusual Problems _

Ed and Al quickly made their way down the path that led to a row of hedges. Ed, still unsure if they should have listened to that Chesire Cat or not, looked over to Al, wanting to know his thoughts on the situation. Al merely stared at the hedgerow.

"I don't care what you do, I'm going to make my way through this hedge and get the heck out of here," Ed said spreading the leaves apart. He stuck his head through and looked around. Al watched him, as Ed pulled back quickly, white-faced and panting. "Alphonse... There are five foot tall walking cards on the other side of this hedge."

"You mean there are cards that are taller than you?" Al replied. "What if they kill us?"

"If they don't kill you, then I will!" Ed yelled, chasing Al around with a bag full of rocks. They soon realized that they were being watched by a pack of cards.

"Oh? Um... hello?" Ed and Al said, unsure of what to do.

"Take them to the Queen!" one card yelled. Ed and Al were soon surrounded and capture, being taken away by a two and a three.

The brother's waited as they were taken in front of a rather large woman. "Who are you?" she bellowed.

"I'm Ed. And this is my brother, Alphonse," Ed replied.

"SILENCE!" the Queen bellowed again.

"But you..."

"You!" the Queen said, stepping down from her throne and walking over to Alphonse. "Do you play croquet?"

"Um..." Al started nervously. "No?"

"Excellent! Bring out the balls and things to hit the balls with!"

Ed watched as the Queen and Al went at the game, but Al wasn't doing so well. But of course, neither was the Queen. She did have her fellow subjects/cards help her out a few times, but Al did his part to keep up with her.

"So what are you dears doing here?" the Queen asked in her deep voice.

"We're just trying to find our way home," Ed said, turning to see Alphonse hit the ball a little too hard, knocking over a stack of cards.

"You're way?!!" the Queen bellowed angrily. "All ways are my ways!!"

"Okay? We're trying to find your way home?" Ed said.

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, never."

"Off with their heads!" the Queen yelled. Ed and Al looked at her, but surprisingly with no fear in their face. "Why aren't you afraid of my wrath?! After them!"

A swarm of cards came at Ed and Al faster than with a Vegas Blackjack dealer. They made quick action and used Alchemy to seal the cards in a dirt box. The Queen cried hysterically and ran of into the forest where she was devoured by a pack of rabid llamas.

Al tapped on the box where the cards were being kept. He could hear muffled mumblings and complaints from the occupants inside. He turned to see Edward sitting down at a table playing chess with the Trix Rabbit.

"Check," Ed said.

"Check," the Rabbit said a few moments later.

"Check."

"Check."

"Check."

"Cheater! That wasn't your King before! You transmuted those!" The Rabbit flipped the chessboard and ran off into the forest.

"Brother!" Al yelled as Edward was captured by Jaden Yuki. (Yu-Gi-Oh! GX) "Let my brother go!" Alphonse pulled out a card deck and a dueling disc.

"You think you can beat me?" Jaden laughed. "I like a good challenge! I'll summon Elemental Hero Avion. And set two face downs."

"I'll summon a face-down monster, and two face downs!" Al yelled, throwing three cards onto his duel disc.

Ed watched the duel with great disappointment. "My brother is a loser," he cried. "I'll never be able to go out in public again."

After several minutes of dueling, Jaden fell to the ground in defeat. Alphonse stood over him proudly.

"I can't believe I lost!" Jaden yelled. He burst into flame and melted away into nothingness.

"Brother, are you okay?" Al asked. Ed looked at his brother, with little life in his eyes. "NO! BROTHER! You can't die on me!"

"I'll never be able to face the Colonel again! Not with my brother being a nerd! There will be so many jokes!" Edward sobbed. Al punched him in the shoulder.

A white light appeared beside them, glowing intensely. Ed and Al stared at it with curiosity. The light took form and turned into a girl dressed in white.

"She's an angel!" Edward and Alphonse said in unison.

"No… I'm the Writer," the girl said. Ed and Al's jaws dropped.

"I thought the Writer was a seventy-three year old man who sat naked by his computer all day!" Ed yelled.

"Gross," the Writer said. "Anyway, Edward, I think you have done a fine job here so…"

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you! This is all your fault!" Ed yelled. Al scooted away from him, not wanting to get hit by any lightening bolts or cows.

"What do you want then, Edward?" the Writer asked.

"I want to beat you down and go home!" He ran at the Writer and punched at her angrily and with plenty of speed. She responded by dodging his attacks repeatedly. Ed clapped his hands together and turned his auto-mail into his blade arm. He slashed repeatedly at the Writer, but obtained no results. Then, the Writer shoved him back and held her hands up over her head. She used her telepathic powers to call upon her friends. Goku and Gohan came, then Sailor Moon appeared by her side, and then Excel Excel.

"Menchi Attack!" Excel yelled, throwing a cat-like dog at Ed. He was hit in the head and fell to the ground.

"Silver Moon Therapy Kiss!" Eternal Sailor Moon yelled, spinning around in a graceful manner and then throwing her attack. Ed easy dodged because of how long the pretty senshi took to do her attack.

Then the Writer, Goku, and Gohan stood in front of Ed.

"Spirit Bomb!" Goku and Gohan yelled.

"Yelling Really Loud!" the Writher yelled.

A wave of energy came flying at Ed, who quickly dodged somehow, and transmuted a giant cannon beneath the Writer and the others. They became swallowed into the back of the cannon. Ed lit the fuse and watched as the three were sent flying of into the air.

"Looks like were blasting off again!" the Writer cried, calling out before she disappeared into a star-like speck.

A portal opened up beside Al and Ed. They looked at it, not knowing what to think.

"I think it's the way home!" Ed said, knowing that it was, since he had just defeated the Writer. "Let's go!"

"Ed, wait! I don't know if…" But it was too late; Ed had already jumped through, so Al followed him.

Ed and Al looked around. They had ended up inside of a strange castle. It was quiet. Ed and Al began to walk around. They soon met a boy with messy black hair who had an unusual scar on his forehead.

"Are you two new here?" the boy asked. "I'm Harry Potter."

And thus begins a new tale, of which another Writer may tell you about. But for now, this Writer says good-bye to Edward and Alphonse Elric, wishing them a safe and eventful journey in another world.


End file.
